Inland, Dreaming of Waves

Monkey not dead yet*

And am I ever glad because now I get to answer his questions.

Hey, Inland Dreaming!

Here's some questions fer you:

You must choose one super power: Flight, Super Strength, or Invisibility. You are the only person in the world that has a superpower. Which would you choose, why, and what would you do with this power?

No question, invisibility. Here's a partial reason from one of my poems:

"Avoiding mines at the border—hard as I find it—may teach me, but then a mine does expose. Assuming I can carry art home belies this longing to enter another life, not speaking, hidden, all ears. A place where nobody is changed by me. Anywhere I needn’t speak will do."

What can I say? It's so much easier to listen or to write than to speak. And as a writer, I'm a watcher, so invisibility makes perfect sense.

Another reason I like invisibility is because you'd learn exactly what people think of you--and that would really test one's nerve, wouldn't it?

What would you do with this power?

I would totally fuck the Pentagon by exposing every one of their secrets I could get my hands on (but only if the power extends to things I'm holding, which is absolutely essential. Just think of the possibilities: I find a truly hot guy, touch him, and he's invisible as long as I'm touching him. HMMM.). I'd probably do that to a few chemical corporations too. I'd sneak into the homes of people with really good art collections and look at their art and steal their chocolate. I think I could hardly refrain from becoming a thief--in a Robin Hood sort of way at first--and that would be my ultimate downfall.

I'd probably have to try on their clothes too. Then I'd end up showing up at their parties in their clothes. Some people just have no self-control.

You send a message into outer space that YOU KNOW FOR CERTAIN will be received by alien life. BUT, you can only use 7 words. What is your message?

Get me today; bring me back tomorrow.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?

On top of a gable roof on the Fourth of July.

Where's the craziest place you want to have sex?

Depends on my mood. Somewhere public, but I don't necessarily want to to be seen, just have the possibility. Maybe in a swank restaurant. Then again, out in the woods (no mosquitoes, please) on a warm, moonlit night would be nice too.

Along the same lines, when have you been most inappropriately turned on? For example, a funeral, PTA meeting, etc.

Not sure. Probably at work. That is, when I used to work in a office.

Describe your perfect sidekick. Not really a question, is it? Okay. What or who would be your perfect sidekick?

More open and emotional than I am. Someone who could teach me to sing and dance really well. I'm not sure whether my sidekick should have better hair or not, but if she did, then it would have to be genetically compatible so that I could have hair transplants. Someone I could egg on, and vice versa. Someone who is fearless where I am fearful, and vice versa. Someone who likes vodka, tequila, wine and talking about sex and religion and fiction. Someone who appreciates the beauty of being unable to stop eating chocolate.

Or if my sidekick were male, he would have to be totally hot. Then again, I'm not so sure I'd really want a male sidekick. Maybe if we were both polygamous.

You can either spend one hot, passionate night with your ideal lover, the person that completes you totally OR you spend a lifetime with a really good friend/spouse, but someone who you will never love with the total abandon that you feel for that one particular lover. Which do you choose?

One night. I love questions like this one. It's so poignant to think of having total satisfaction--but only for a limited time. Is it the Catholic in me, or that my parents grew up during the Depression?

What's the one piece of advice you'd give yourself as a child?

Considering how I'm always looking back and seeing the possibilities in life that I ignored at the time (because I'm so fucking focused), I guess I'd say, "Hey, kid, [as she's running full tilt at disaster] lighten up. You can do that 5 different ways, so look around."

Would you ever want a clone of yourself?

No. How horrifying. I'm insecure enough without watching how a clone of myself would do things. A twin, however, that might be nice. A twin is a separate person; a clone is not. It's not a robot, either, though. It's just a horrifying possibility.

What's the one sentence you'd say to God if you had the chance?

Well, God knows everything, so why should I have to say anything?

This is just an excuse for having no idea what I would say. Or maybe I'd say, "I'd like to switch invisibility for flight now, please." Or maybe I'd say, "I think reincarnation is a cool idea. If it doesn't really happen, could you make it happen and give me my dream life, please?"

Tomorrow, a respectable news outlet will proclaim you a genius. They will say you excel and revolutionize in whatever field you desire. This proclamation is heard and believed by most people, especially people in the know. What does this to for your future? Does such a proclamation make you insecure about not filling the hype? Do you strive to prove them right? Do you do whatever you want and dismiss any problems by saying "I'm a genius"? Or do you go about your business and not let it affect you at all?

It would make me nervous, but I could probably think of ways to use it to my advantage. Maybe I'd go into politics. Then again, who votes for geniuses?

enjoy!

*See Todd's blog for the reference.

posted by Price of Silence @ 7:42 PM