Musings on Marriage
Right now I'm listening to "The Weakness in Me" by Joan Armatrading. It's one of my favorite songs, and it's about adultery. She asks, "Are you so strong, or is all the weakness in me?"I've never cheated on anyone. In that respect, I'm still a good Catholic girl. Not cheating is important to me, but sometimes I wonder, "What's cheating?" I don't believe a passing moment of lust is important, but what about a feeling of tenderness? One of those feelings that seem to step over the line between friendship and love, if only for a moment.
I lived with my husband for 10 years before we were married. So for the first year after we were married, when people asked if anything had changed, I said no. Then one day sometime in the second year, I suddenly thought, "I'll never fall in love again!" I don't know why that should have come as a surprise to me, but it did. Funny how my mind works.
I think because I'm such a reserved person, I crave that kind of strong emotion. As a friend of mine said, falling in love can become an addiction. But what if you fall in love over and over with your spouse? Is that possible? Or do we fall once--and that's it?
If you do fall in love with the same person more than once, how does it happen? Does it follow a long separation (say, more than a month)? A period of stress?
posted by Price of Silence @ 7:36 PM
2 Comments:
I think you can definitely fall in love with the same person over and over. I think it requires some kind of change in that person, and a change in yourself. When that happens it can really be magical. Sometimes it's a change you share (like getting married or having a kid) or separate changes, but we've had it. It doesn't come around too often, so you have enjoy it while it lasts.
Well, kids are out, since I've had my tubes tied. And I think that maybe having the ligation was what brought this on. It's one thing to think you'll probably never have kids and another to physically rule it out altogether.
I guess the possibility of feeling that rush of "first love" again is reason enough to go to the gym, take up a new hobby, and even spend time apart--as long as it all works for the marriage.
Post a Comment
<< Home