If I could be...
Sex asked me to do this. Check out "I got served" on her blog:If I could be a librarian...
I'm a copyeditor, all fucking right? That's close enough.
If I could be a witch...
I'd have a recumbent broomstick and a fedora. I wouldn't cackle; I would always speak in a Veronica Lake voice (somebody told me once I had one. I don't know what the fuck it means). Actually, I wouldn't have a broomstick; I'd just fly; I'd turn into a bird. I'd be like Ged in A Wizard of Earth-Sea. I'd be a namer like the woman in the Elizabeth Hayden novels. I'd have a magic chocolate factory. I'd be able to remember all my lives and turn into any person I've ever been in the past. I'd do time travel. I would go all Krav Maga on demons and rapists.
Oooh, maybe I'd be a vengeance witch. That would be fun; I tend to hold grudges sometimes, so I know I could come up with particularly evil, quirky revenge. Stuff that would make people gape in astonishment at my cleverness before they were cut in two or whatever.
If I were an actor...
you know, I've been wondering if I could do this lately. It never looks that hard onscreen, except when you're watching a truly bad actor. But I really don't have the faintest idea what acting FEELS like, whereas I do know what writing feels like.
If I could be a paratrooper...
I wouldn't be scared of heights. I would freefall with peregrine falcons at 200 miles per hour. I would have jet boots like Spock in one of the Star Trek movies, just in case the parachute failed. I would always land and do three somersaults and a backflip. Then I'd get into my fighting stance. I would casually eat protein bars on the way down. I would hum. I would fall through clouds but never get struck by lightning.
posted by Price of Silence @ 10:14 PM
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